© Cathi Trevor | cathietrevor@gmail.com | Cape Town, South Africa

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Ramblings of a blogger: Being vulnerable

April 22, 2019

 

Monday comes around way too quickly for my liking, but here we are a new week, a short one at that and I thought I 'd share a moment or two.

Spring buds are blossoming all over the world, yet here we are in the throws of autumn and already I'm wondering how much longer I can bear the coldness of Dalebrook tidal pool.  My swimming partner, a wonderful lady was taken to hospital three weeks ago and I miss her terribly, her sprightly attitude to life and  energy inspires me to always look on the bright side and take the bull by the horn, but at this moment she lies in hospital with her tired body trying to mend, gasping for life and I wonder at the fragility of it all?  

 

On Saturday I got up early as usual and took a brisk walk with hubby to the beach, plunging into icy water, (the temperature read 16 yet it felt so much colder) and I stopped mid length to take it all in; the brief breathing space between sky and sea and a sense of perfection.

Earlier in the year  I had a brief lapse of finding it unbelievably hard to name  three things I was grateful for each day, a ritual I have done on countless mornings.  It hasn't been an easy year with  personal issues, loss and sadness, where in the depth of the night I lie awake and wonder if things are going to get easier? In those moments I have to remind myself about the little things like the love of my partner, family and friends, a job I love and to be kind and gentle to myself.

 

We have just put our beautiful dog down who shared our life for sixteen years. My daughter said her goodbye last weekend and it broke my heart as we remembered the day we brought her home so many years ago and all the years that followed.  I'm sure Roxi felt our love before she closed her eyes for the last time.

 Christopher holding Sanuk (passed four years ago) and Andie holding Roxi 

 

Life throws curve balls and I am no different to anyone else carrying their issues, but for a moment I want to feel my sadness and be vulnerable in a space where we so often gallop through the day pushing feelings and thoughts away because it's easier not to face reality. Sometimes we feel stuck and unsure how to carry on, but I know we need to feel the moments and let them wash over, accept and then let the feelings go.

 

I'm jabbering on, so I shall stop now, take a deep breath and jump back into this wonderful day where the sun is shining and there's coffee to be made!

 

Wishing you  all a happy Easter Monday and week up ahead.

 

photography: Ian Reeves

sunglasses: Rayban

top: Country Road

pants; Witchery

 

 

Cath

 

 

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